Derech

Do you not know – have you have not heard – an everlasting God is the Lord, the Creator of the ends of the earth; He neither tires nor wearies; there is no fathoming His understanding. Who gives the tired strength, and to him who has no strength, He increases strength. Now youths shall become tired and weary, and young men shall stumble. But those who put their hope in the Lord shall renew [their] vigor, they shall raise wings as eagles; they shall run and not weary, they shall walk and not tire.

Isaiah 40:28-31

This is the difficult path, the hard path. The path you walk on for miles, only to stop and realize that you’ve still been dragging your old weaknesses with you. The way that winds through thickets and brush, and plummets into pits and forces you through raging waters. This is the road that sometimes feels endless, occasionally passes through barren deserts and scorches you in the heat.

This is the path I’ve chosen. The way may be difficult, the setbacks monumental, but I know that as long as I keep pushing toward God, toward my innermost self, to my soul, the path will ultimately lead me to paradise. This road is often lonely, devoid of human comfort, quiet. And always, God walks beside me; even if I cannot see Him, even if I do not hear Him, even if His voice is drowned out by the noise of the roaring ocean into which this path has plunged me. I know that even as I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I have no need to fear, for He is with me. Even when I stumble, I know He is close at hand, for He is close to the brokenhearted, and He heals me. Even when I cower in shame, He lifts me up, reminding me that I do not need to be ashamed.

God is here with me every single day. He muddles through with me in the midst of the mundane, He cheers for my achievements and comforts me in my melancholy. He protects me when I am in danger, guides me when I am lost, and strengthens me when I am weak. He loves me when I believe I cannot be loved, and is patient with me when I’m impatient with myself.

He has transformed my mourning into dancing.

The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life; from whom shall I be frightened?

Psalm 27:1