The Diamond We Must Guard

Life is the most sacred possession every being has. So much so, that without it, there is no being. Every life is a whole world, a world of its own. It has emotions, thoughts, aspirations, and abilities. Where did this life come from? It came from an Infinite source, brought down here for the purpose of revealing a piece of the Infinite source to this limited world. How did this happen?  Two lives came together. These lives were once complete and utter strangers. Yet, with a wind of passion they came together, and with microscopic material they create a life. From this miniscule material miraculously develops a life which can speak, can cry, can see, can feel. This life can experience joy, anger, excitement, inspiration, curiosity, love, and so much more. This is the power of intimacy, of two people coming together with the infinite power of creating a whole new world, a world that is created by their very own flesh. When we realize our humble beginnings, we realize that our complexity is the biggest, most supernatural miracle of all times.

“It was You who created my conscience; You fashioned me in my mother’s womb. I praise You, for I am awesomely, wondrously made; Your work is wonderful; I know it very well.”

Psalm 139:13-14

Such has been the way of the world since the beginning. Every organism, in its own way, has participated in this active part of creation. Yet humans have an even greater potential and responsibility in this process. We have the power to love the person we are creating life with, to grow attached to them, to be loyal to them. We can laugh and cry, make plans and build a life together. Most importantly, we are endowed with the responsibility to raise, care for, and educate the life we make together. The making of life is the culmination of intimacy, it binds two souls that were once not related, and makes them more related than any relation; they share a flesh through this act of intimacy, a child, and through this they share a responsibility to raise this child to fulfill its purpose in this world. 

Thus, one may say, that intimacy is the strongest force in this world. It facilitates, with Hashem’s help, the creation and nurturing of an independent universe of its own, and as such, nurtures the world at large. Certainly, with great power to create also comes great potential to destroy. When intimacy’s greatest power and purpose is ignored and thrown away, it creates a world of confused, lost souls. Souls that search and cannot find what they are missing. 

Perhaps, one may say we are all lost souls. And I will say, you are correct! We all have challenges. Our challenges must be examined and identified, then gently uprooted and filled with a cure that nurtures that soul, no matter how difficult it may be.

I have been speaking in the abstract, so let’s cut to the chase. Our world has become hypersexualized. Women walk in hardly any clothes. Boys and girls casually sleep, G-D forbid, and then find a new partner the next day. Gay parades are held in which straight and gay people alike flaunt their entire body for the world to see. Am I homophobic, am I sexist? No. Our world has come to pervert intimacy. Intimacy, where two people come together to become one in body (child) and soul (their relationship), has been replaced with casual sex. Nothing is private any longer. One’s body is for the world to see and use. 

What is so wrong with this? Well, to put it simply, as I have already mentioned, with great power comes great responsibility. Imagine the power of misusing the strongest force in this world. It’s tremendous. Now, imagine normalizing this misuse, making it public and perfectly appropriate.  This causes the power of this misuse to enter the very fabric of society. It is no longer limited to the person who committed the misuse, or the incident it occurred in, but it now seeps into families, homes, workplaces, and the minds of people. 

So, what exactly is going on? In the 1960s there was a “sexual revolution.” Casual sex became the norm. Sleeping around, having multiple partners, experimenting, that was all encouraged. Let me ask you something. Do you think these things didn’t exist before the 1960s? Sure, they did. So, what’s the difference? They weren’t accepted, they weren’t the norm. If someone did it, they kept their mouth shut, and at least would teach their children not to do it. Because it wasn’t the norm, people tried to avoid doing it, it was done less, society was not infused with it. The average person got married, had children, stayed married, and raised the children. Adultery was not normalized. Does that mean it didn’t happen? Yes, it did. But people still had some shame, they knew it wasn’t good. Now, in every movie you watch, someone is cheating. The message? Everyone does it. So, what happens? Everyone eventually does do it, and people start to lose sense of right and wrong. Look no further than Hollywood.

I promise I am not just kvetching. I have a point. What’s my point? When intimacy is disrespected, sex is idolized. When I say sex, I mean the simple act, not the coming together of two people who are building a life, the purpose of this seemingly physical act. It becomes a drug, a slave master over the individual, as well as society. Everyone is searching for the new high. The problem is that, when it is boiled down to a physical act, there is no new high, it’s all the same. But the drug, the slave master demands that one searches for a new way to satisfy him. Like an addict, society searches for something new to calm the desire, the illusion. Once they do, they become depressed, realizing that the high doesn’t last, and the vicious cycle continues. It’s all a false reality. Without the respect for the powerful potential of intimacy, we keep searching and searching for the non-existent high, making new perverted ways to disrespect the primordial purpose of intimacy, which is wired into our very fabric of existence. We keep falling and falling, doing more and more for this illusion, dragging society down with us. 

A man boasting about the number of hookups he engages in on a consistent basis is a desecration of intimacy. A woman flaunting that which is private, for the world to look at, disrespects intimacy. Hollywood stars engaging in child sex abuse is a violation of intimacy. Movies portraying these stars committing adultery in every other film is a desecration of intimacy. Gay parades, in which probably more straight people participate than gay people, are an excuse to publicly display their sexual desires, and ultimately is a desecration of intimacy.   

So, what is to be done? Whenever one is lost in life, he has to return to the basics. Biology dictates that the purpose of life is to create new life. The complexity of humans, as created by Hashem, dictates that coming together with another person, only one person, being loyal to them, loving them, making them happy, listening to their feelings, building a home together culminates in oneness in spirit and flesh. That is the powerful potential of intimacy. Intimacy creates a new world, a new universe, a new life. We must guard this power and honor it. It is like a diamond. A diamond is not put out for all the world to see at any time. It is taken out for special times. It is guarded. It is treasured. 

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